Had I known the truth
I never would have said yes.
I had not yet been exposed to you,
And your treachery and deception.
I was naïve and I was young.
I was merely myself.
Had I known I didn’t stand a chance
Against your charms,
I never would have agreed to take you on.
I was merely a child playing at things bigger than I.
I was out of my league,
For you, it was child’s play.
I never stood a chance.
I am a child of darkness,
a descendent of fire.
Neither can hurt me now.
If I know how the world is going to end,
Am I bound to tell you?
Is it somehow considered my responsibility to save it?
Or is it acceptable for me to keep it to myself?
Is it in my hands to save every soul on the planet?
Or is it okay for me to die alongside everyone else?
Will I be blamed for the destruction of the world if I know but don’t tell?
Or thanked for not allowing others to suffer at the thought of something they would be powerless to stop?
I know how the world will end,
I just don’t know where to go from here.
“All of us are surrounded by ghosts. Now we must learn how to live with them.”
-Testament of Youth
A Cross I Am Bound To Carry
Their blood is my blood.
Their tears are my tears.
Their pain is my pain.
Their sorrow is my sorrow.
All they were and all they could have been is mine to bear.
Mine to keep.
Mine to remember.
It is a cross I am bound to carry by the blood they spilled on my hands,
The tears they cried on my shoulder,
The pain they felt by my hand,
The sorrows they whispered in my ear.
It is all mine to bear
And mine alone.
I cannot begin to understand,
Whether it is our duty
As the ones left behind,
To remember the dead
Or forget about them.
To remember their smiles,
Their laughs, their voices.
Or to forget their tears,
Their pain, their screams.
Because we cannot simply remember one
But not the other.
They blend together, smiles turn into tears,
Laughter into pain, voices into screams.
So do we choose to forget them altogether,
Or bear with them not only the beautiful,
But the dark as well?
I cannot, for the life of me, begin to understand.
It was my job to keep him safe.
My job to keep him as he was.
And yet he’s gone from this world,
And left a completely different person behind.
He grew up when I wasn’t looking,
When I wasn’t there.
I saved him once,
He survived by my hand.
And yet less than a year later,
Death had once again paid him a visit.
I wasn’t there that time.
So now not only do I not have him,
I also don’t have a job to keep me sane no more.
Yet I lay here where he died,
And watch over his grave.
I’m keeping him safe,
Even though he left so long ago.
I’m doing my best,
Too little too late.
I don’t want to be left behind,
To be the only one left
In this world.
I want to walk the world
With the ones I love,
And not once have them look back
In order to see me.
I am tired of looking at their backs.
I really don’t want to be left behind.
In this world
Is the last thing I want to be.